Sunday, 10 November 2013

Red wine, computers and accidents

Pre-Festive Greetings from the itsgonefunny team!

Today I will be lecturing on the evils of drink. Specifically we will be looking at the equation:

lovely drinkies + computer = trouble

Now then, I know there is nothing sweeter than to curl up with a laptop, a glass of something nice balanced on the arm of your chair and do a little bit of shopping. 

Everything is super till the dog jumps up and the contents of your glass go over the keyboard.

I expect you will do as you please, but when it all goes wrong, please observe the following drill:

  • shutdown - turn the darn thing off and remove the charger. Your laptop may assist you in this by turning itself off
  • battery - remove it. If you don't know how, wake up the 3-year old to  show you. I know this seems cruel but this is an emergency
  • flip - open up the laptop as far as it will go and put it somewhere safe upside-down. Kind of like a tent shape
  • wait - be patient. We're talking 2 whole days. Take this opportunity to rediscover more antique occupations. Knitting, stamp collecting, watching TV - all fine
  • itsgonefunny - when you turn it on, everything will seem great except your keyboard won't work. Bring it down, we'll replace it. We may shake our heads at you and look slightly patronising, but don't be fooled - we've all done it.
DO NOT, DO NOT, I say again, DO NOT turn on the laptop and carry on surfing immediately after the spillage. The chances are, till your beverage dries out and the sugar becomes toffee, the laptop will work. Later on it will become a doorstop.

As the weather gets colder and Christmas mania kicks in, we see more and more of these sozzled laptops. The vast majority of these accidents seem to involve red wine, though recently I had one that had been fed Calvados. Why red wine though? Possible research direction there.

A keyboard replacement costs from £40 here, though some laptop keyboards are more expensive. We recently worked on a laptop whose keyboard cost £60. (And we charge £20 on top for fitting). Investigation showed that the reason was because it was a special spill-resistant keyboard. Many ironic eyebrows were raised that day, I can tell you.

I have only scraped the surface of the dangers of drinking and surfing, but that's enough nagging for one post. Meanwhile - if you have any stories to tell on the topic, send them to me at and I will publish them, anonymously or attributed, according to your desire.

Happy November!

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