Monday, 24 December 2012

Christmas Newsletter from itsgonefunny

Seasons Greetings!

Here at we are taking the time to reinforce the very personal bond we have with you and share the news about how brilliant we are.

So Happy Christmas [insert name here] and your [children/business/pets/misc - delete where applicable]

We care very much about the environment and have opted not to send you a glossy Christmas Card or indeed chocolates or champagne. These things have unseemly carbon footprints. Instead, we have chosen to pollute the information highway with our inspirational thoughts.

Following a sudden investment by +Theo Paphitis off of Dragon's Den in February (over 10 billion pounds) we were able to expand by opening over seven thousand new branches, including three in the "difficult to crack" commercial territory of Easter Island.

Imagine our surprise in April when we received a phone call from The International Space Station requesting assistance. They had forgotten the password to the airlock and Russian cosmonaut Aleksandr Pavlovich Aleksandrov  was angrily banging on the side of the rocket trying to get back in! Although they were running Linux, we were able to hack the password using remote assistance and save the day. Luckily we are all fluent in 250 languages!

It has been good year for Britain's only support collie, Ted. He has come on in leaps and bounds. He remains, like me, better at software than hardware. This is due, in part, to the difficulty he has holding a screwdriver. As an equal opportunities employer we are looking for a way of accommodating this physical limitation and Jon is currently developing a "robot paw" module to help him out.

I could go on and on and on and on.... but let's leave it there for now.

Wishing you an amazing Christmas and a wildly successful 2013.

Helen, Andy, James, Jon, Dan and a big woof from Ted

1 comment:

  1. You're completely mad. But then that's probably no great surprise....


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